Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
