Are we in a gay sports bar?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
