ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
