I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
