it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
