So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
