I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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