I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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