Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
