Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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