he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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