Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
