I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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