we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
