hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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