Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
