I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
