Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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