what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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