my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
