i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
