I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
