We won't sleep together?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
