I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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