I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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