you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
