Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
