So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
