The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
