Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
