btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
