You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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