my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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