U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
