my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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