Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
