I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
