i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
