I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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