my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
