apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
