We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We got so high we made milksteak
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
