Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
