okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
