I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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