why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
