Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
