Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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