If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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