I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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