I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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