he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
